How would you rate yourself in your ability to relate to women?

Most men are grossly lacking in their get-along-with-women skills. The women I have polled over the last 40 years say that the majority of men have little to no idea about what works in a relationship with a woman. This is both sad and strange given how important women are to most of us.

So the question is: What can you do about it?

The following guidelines, thoughtfully applied will produce great results. Ignore them and you can expect stuff to hit the fan. It’s your choice.

1. Learn to listen. When she asks you to turn off everything (especially the TV) because she has something to say, do it and then give her your attention. This will make her feel validated, important, worthwhile, and cared for.  She will also think you are one of the most special men she has ever met. (Most men suck at listening.)
2. Get interested in something that interests her. She will feel as if you are partners and are close (close is good). If you try to control her or take over, your entire effort will be wasted.
3. Surprise her. Do something thoughtful and caring for her when she least expects it. This is especially effective in long-term relationships. Surprise renews interest and passion!!!
4. Acknowledge her in the presence of her friends and family and be specific. Affirmation means even more with witnesses. But be specific. Gross generalizations like “you are a good woman” are worse than no acknowledgement at all.
5. Never, ever comment about her weight increases. She is hyper-aware of changes in her body and does not need your observations or criticisms.
6. Let her have her feelings. When she is upset about something, let her be upset. Do not imply that her feelings are silly or inappropriate and don’t try to “fix” her too quickly. Sometimes she will be OK simply by having her feelings.
7. Believe in something in addition to money. Yes, women want a man who makes a decent income but few women need you to be rich. Most women love it when a man has strong values and attempts to live by them.
8. Be a man instead of a boy. You are not an adolescent so don’t act like one. Nothing turns women off faster than a man who behaves like a teenage boy. This includes humor, dress, sex, dealing with friends, and especially commitment.
9. Develop some real foreplay skills. Yes, women like sex also. They just prefer to get into it a little more gracefully than most men. Foreplay begins in the mind (her mind) and then progresses to the body (her body). Find out what kind of talk and behavior (nonsexual – like candles, flowers, poetry, meaningful conversation, etc.) relaxes and turns her on and then do it. No groping allowed!

Most men ignore these simple but powerful guidelines. Apply them and you will become the best man your woman knows.

[Ed. note: Dr. Matthew Anderson is an author (The Prayer Diet), counselor (35 years) and national columnist/expert on weight loss, motivation, self-management and relationships. To find tough-minded, outside-the-box guidance for taking charge of your life and/or your weight including Eating click here.]

For more great articles like this delivered to your inbox, subscribe to our free natural health newsletter!