One trap many people fall into, thanks to magazines, movies and television, is comparing themselves to others. We engage in all kinds of negative self-talk like, “These jeans make my butt look big,” or “I’ll never be as skinny as her.”

I finally realized that none of that matters. What matters to me is that I look the best that I can look and feel the best that I can feel. I started raising my own bar, not to anyone else’s standard, but to my own.

I decided to eat a healthier diet, add more veggies into my daily meals, and exercise more skip rope and skip the excuses! I’m not a movie star, so I don’t compare myself to them.

Here are a few tips you can try to help you kick the “comparison” habit.

1. List your good points. Take a sheet of paper and make a list of all your talents. Write down anything at which you excel, even if it seems silly. No one is going to see this list but you! When you read it back, you’ll be surprised at how “accomplished” you’ll feel.
2. Change the feedback tape in your head. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a form of psychotherapy based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not outside influences.¹ Why not give it a try by changing your negative thoughts into positive ones?
3. Be a Big Brother or Big Sister. A sure boost to self-esteem is to help someone else make his or her life better. Volunteers are always needed at Big Brothers, Big Sisters. The organization’s research has shown that children in their program are 52% less likely to skip school, 46% less likely to begin using illegal drugs, and more likely to get along with their families and peers.² You can make a difference in a child’s life and your own life.
4. Try hypnosis to boost self-esteem. Doctors are even using hypnosis in the operating room combined with anesthesia with dramatic results, according to radiologist Dr. Elvira Lang at Harvard’s Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center.³ Together with David Spiegel, a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine, she has conducted extensive studies of hypnosis in the operating room. Conclusion: hypnosis works.
5. Lose the stress. Stress has been shown to have many detrimental effects on your body and your mind. Try relaxing with yoga, tai chi, qi gong or meditation.

Once you’ve tried some or all of these tips, consider making them into habits to permanently boost the way you feel about yourself and the world around you.

References

1. http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm
2. http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.diJKKYPLJvH/b.1539751/k.BDB6/Home.htm
3. http://discovermagazine.com/2004/nov/hypnosis-works

[Ed. note: Jackie Silver is aging backwards. She shares her secrets, tips, and shortcuts on her web site, AgingBackwards.com, in her forthcoming book, on the syndicated TV show, Daytime, on Clear Channel radio's Mix 100.7, and as a sought-after speaker. For more information, click here.]

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