Loading ...Featured Article Healthy LivingThe Worst Toxin of All
It seems that everywhere we turn, we’re told about the toxins in our environment that can cause us harm and disease.
Yet I believe we may be ignoring the number one toxin of all. This is the toxin that will put an end to your productivity. It will make you miserable and it will take you down if you let it.
If you are not careful and you do not keep your guard up, it will have a greater influence on your life, your success and even your health than any toxin in your food or water.
The toxin I am talking about is the negative people in your life.
If you had a brand new Ferrari, you probably would not give the keys to just anyone. You would be careful how you took care of it and who you let borrow it, drive it, or even ride in it. You probably wouldn’t let anyone eat or drink in it. Yet you freely give away “the keys” to more precious possessions every day — your mind and your attitude — when you let negative people decide what goes in your head and what you listen to.
[Ed. Note: Tim Reynolds, M.D., is a board-certified Emergency Medicine Physician. He is a Managing Partner of Healthcare Express and the Chief Medical Officer of Urgent Care America. Dr. Reynolds is also a health and lifestyle expert and sought-after speaker. For more information, click here.]
I call these people “toxic,” and they’re easy to spot. They are the ones you dread seeing and being around because you know they will have nothing positive to say.
I have a colleague who always leaves me feeling like I have had my battery drained. Any positive outlook I have on life and business before I interact with this person is gone afterwards because (s)he sucks it out of me.
My guess is you have people like this in your life as well.
These aren’t necessarily bad people. In fact, they probably don’t even know they are doing this. They may even pretend to have your best interests in mind. They will say things like, “You can try that but I know of a guy who lost everything in rental properties…” They spend their lives trying to figure out why things don’t work. Anyone can figure out a reason not to do something if they analyze it long enough.
So what should you do with these toxic people? Simply get rid of their influence and stop being around them. Quit thinking you are immune to their negative attitude and whining. The truth is, their attitudes and actions affect you.
I am not saying you should walk away from your negative friends and family. I am saying you should RUN! You don’t have to disown them, but you do have to decrease your association with them and the amount of time you spend with them.
Instead of toxic people, start spending time with people who make you feel better about yourself — people with great ideas. These are people that encourage you to follow your dreams. They not only encourage you, they pick you up when you fall or come up short. Find a way to increase your time with these people. Hang around them more. Make them your friends and mentors. Try to become more like them.
You may also need to take a look at yourself and ask which kind of person you are: (a) one that people should disassociate with or (b) one that people should spend more time with. If your answer is (a), do what it takes to become the latter.
I encourage you to make a list of the most influential people in your life and decide for each if you should decrease your association with them or increase your association with them. Then make a plan to do so.
The real toxins in our lives are not necessarily those the media tells us about. They’re the people we allow to influence and affect us daily. So guard very carefully who you let influence you every day.
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I have not read anything more profound in a very long time! I have been contemplating working from home to avoid the negative influences of an incredibly negative partner in my firm. This article describes her perfectly. Thank you - this was just what I needed.
Entered: September 11th, 2009 at 7:18 am. PermalinkThis article is spot on. My daily meditation CDs recommend that I throw all negative energies, people and events into a strong box, lock it and push it out into space (mentally of course), before starting the session. Trust me, I have some favorites that take this daily trip
Entered: September 11th, 2009 at 11:22 am. PermalinkToxic people, vampires, and other energy drainers - the comedian and commentator, Dennis Miller, has a term for these
Entered: September 11th, 2009 at 12:40 pm. Permalinkpeople - “karma compromisers”. If any situation doesn’t add
energy, escape or change it as fast as possible! Move on! Develop extreme goal orientation and don’t tolerate negative diversions. Also, read Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.
I see the article is bringing out the best in people… where is the love, patience and care for our fellow human being? The article and responses promote the dumping and throwing to the curb of people with these type of problems. Shame on you… there are healthy ways to deal with this type of problem. Your answer to the problem is just like BIG Pharma; looking for a quick fix. May I suggest, perhaps a balanced follow-up article is in order?
Entered: September 11th, 2009 at 1:22 pm. PermalinkRajyoga meditation by the Brahmakumaris recognise all inter-
Entered: September 12th, 2009 at 12:07 am. Permalinkrelationships are energy exchanges and no wonder interaction with toxic people are energy draining.The Brahmakumaris have
an effective prescription to tackle this
OMG! This article explains my emochinally painful friendship on and off (currently off lol) for 16 years. This “friend” of mine is in no douht a toxic person. She just attacked me so badly over text messages just a couple days ago!! She had me soooo upset the next day I was crying, shakeing, had a headache that made my head feel like it was going to explode and felt as if I was going to throw up any second! I was walking around the house like a zombie cause the postive nice engery I always carry was so drawn and sucked out of me I felt like a total and complete pile of shit. I ended the friendship again. Funny thing is we had just meet up again in the exact same place and exact same spot we had last saw eachother. And we didn’t even make it a whole year without fighting and having troubles again. She gets mad at me for stupied little mistakes humans make. And when I get mad she doesn’t say sorry or even account my feelings. She is always right. She attacked me personally which really hurt even more then any bad word she could of called me. And of course I was the calm one didn’t call her one bad name or attack her life personaily. But I have rid her of my life. She just might try to find a way back in and I donno if I can let her. I know she needs me I am the only family she has left her family doesn’t even talk to her anymore. If I do let her back in I will keep my distance and try my best not to get too involved and have her ruin my life like she has many times in the past. I am no school girl anymore I am a woman and I don’t allow anybody to walk all over me that doesn’t fly with me. Anyways thank you for this artical is helped me soo much and was very inlighting and helpful.
Entered: September 12th, 2009 at 1:08 am. PermalinkAn excellent article! I only wish the solution were as simple as walking away from the negative people in my life — my mother and one (sometimes two) of my siblings. My mother is over 82 and in very poor health, brought on by her own neglect; she is an alcoholic — though at least she’s no longer drinking. Now, unfortunately, having been in an automobile accident, she can no longer drive herself anywhere, and it is left to me to do so (my sister handles her finances and can herself be very difficult). It is all but impossible to be positive with her: she begins nearly all our visits with many negative comments about people & situations. And I am doing my utmost to recover from a lifetime of depression & anxiety; it’s very much up-hill for me. Please keep us in your prayers — thank you.
Entered: September 12th, 2009 at 2:35 pm. Permalinkthis is the best article I have read in a long time. I have been exposed freguently and feel so drained when they are around. I was standing in line at a buffet and someone said something to me that was horrible because she wanted to cut the line.I couldn’t even think of any thing just moved so she could. It ruined the morning. I didn’t even know her. At meetings it is amazing how only one person behaves until they get their way. I have begun to always stay away from these people.
Entered: September 14th, 2009 at 9:14 am. PermalinkI loved this article, as I love all of Dr. Tim’s articles. To learn more about Dr. Tim, visit his website at http://www.timreynoldsmd.com where you can also sign up to receive his weekly adventure newsletter!!
Entered: September 14th, 2009 at 5:49 pm. PermalinkTHE ARTICLE IS TRUE BUT WE CANNOT AS ALWAYS CONDEMN OR GET AWAY FROM SOME PEOPLE. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. EVEN INSIDE OUR HOUSE. ARE WE GOING TO RAN AWAY FROM HOME? If I am with a nagger, I could simply ignore her/him after telling “shut up”! If I am with drunkards, no one can force me to drink, else I drink only to my limits, I can stay with them as long as I want. If someone says I look ugly or old, I reply, “liars go to hell”. If one is narrating a sad story, I listen and give my opinion solicited or not as I don’t want to be a shock absorber. If they are not in conformity, i WILL understand that they have the right to disagree as I WILL do the same. The same thing if one will walk away from me, I also consider it as his or her and my right - no pulling of sleeves. If one threatens to commit suicide blaming anything on me - I’m sorry, it is his or her sin and decision to do, i wont feel the blame. In short, if one is toxic, don’t be affected - be yourself. It is wise to act than to react. On the other hand if I am a toxin to another person, I can change for good to become a better person. It’s only a matter of accepting mistakes to be able to make a change. But sometimes I show my worst - if I dont like a person or what is happening. I WILL drive them away or stop what is happening. I won’t run. IF there is nothing that I can do - I’ll step outside for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, then go back in laughing…. and its over. I’m back to myself again as if nothing happened… thinking why will I let myself be affected and suffer. Then I can say “Hello everyone!”
Entered: September 24th, 2009 at 1:37 am. Permalink